are you so shy because you have an std?
Just had to explain my "wine me. Dine me. Sixty-nine me" key chain to my grandma...she took it surprisingly well.
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
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