end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
Randomize
