Sometimes when I see pregnant women, I wonder what position they were in when they got knocked up. Then I gag a little.
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
Randomize
