I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
i think i just naturally attract stoners
Randomize
