you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
I'll bet she douches with gravy.
she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
Randomize
