I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
Randomize
