You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
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