If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
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