i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
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