WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
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