marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
You need Xanax blowdarts
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
Dude you literally tried to cook your phone in the microwave. You were so wasted you asked your mom to help you turn it on.
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Randomize
