My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
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