you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
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