If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
honey bunches of taint.
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Randomize
