You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
so my phone accidentally called my dad from my purse at 2:14am....he has a 5 min voicemail of me discussing how Alicia should bang the guy who eats good pussy... i can never look at my dad in the face again....
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dear vagina, thank you for making it so goddamn hard to get pregnant. i love you.
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
Okay, guy from work I want to fuck just told me he liked the font on my PowerPoint presentation. It is so on.
Make me proud, climb that corporate ladder.
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
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