dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
I transported a midget tonight. He got beat up by another, midgetier midget. Is it bad that this is what makes me feel compassion after 15 years of being a paramedic?
Midgetier?
Smaller, yet meaner.
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
he had hair everywhere except his balls
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
Randomize
