you traded sex for a burrito?
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
Randomize
