didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
Randomize
