I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
Apparently, I showed up wrapped in caution tape and immediately jumped on the stripper pole and started making very sexual gestures at the birthday girl. We lasted ten minutes.
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
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