i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
Randomize
