thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
Randomize
