I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
First date. He's wearing a tuxedo shirt and keeps asking me about our future children. Escape plan #3 is now in action...
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
My early Valentine's Day one night stand just took an uber home. Thank you, technology, for letting me enjoy this day in peace. 😍
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
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