Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
Apparently "Do you want me to ruin your day now or later?" is not a good way to tell someone you're pregnant and it's theirs.
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
Randomize
