Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
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