it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
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