Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
Randomize
