An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
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