I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
I just talked to a CEO of a fortune 500 company while pooping. I LOVE being self employed.
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
We ran out of wine so we are trying the absinthe you brought over from Spain like 3 years ago. Please call me at noon tomorrow. If we die, its your fault
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
Randomize
