ha. weirdest feeling ever. just wiped my ass with my non-dominant hand. (eating cheeseburger with right one)
Your grandmother is in heaven weeping.
So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mom is currently out with her lesbian friends and I'm home alone drunk listening to the Les Miserables soundtrack. WHY DO I FEEL THE NEED TO COMPETE WITH HER?
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
Randomize