Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
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