bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
Randomize
