you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
FUCK WHALES
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