We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
Did you hear me? I HAVE THE CONTENTS OF AN NBA PLAYER'S CONDOM IN MY BEDROOM TRASHCAN!! This shit is potentially worth millions of dollars to a fertile young female who is ovulating. How do I sell it fast??
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
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