I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
He is an equal opportunity slut.
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
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