Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
Randomize
