Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
drunk me just left notes all around the apt to remind shitfaced me that i have mashed potatoes in the fridge. do not take them down if you come home before me.
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
I refuse to go to this wedding alone, or sober. Practice drunk-walking in heels and a Bridesmaid dress begins tonight.
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
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