tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
Randomize
