My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
Randomize
