The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
Also, beer. Big fan.
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
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