it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
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