She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
There must be a happy medium universe where you get it on with my girlfriend enough to cause me pain but not a full on cardiac arrest. It's a fine line to tread though.
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
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