I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
we should paint friendship bongs
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
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