I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
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