You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
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