Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
well you can't waste a boner
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
Semen is not good for contacts.
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
I pour the whiskey from now on
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
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