i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
things i am: 1) still drunk 2) still wearing my leopard onesie 3) still gonna make my 9am lecture despite the odds CAN I GET A HIGH FIVE
Randomize
