its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
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