if i get killed by an online date, its your job to tell my parents that we met at church
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
We need to get me chipped asap
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize
