Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
Randomize
