it wasn't lemon gatorade
I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
Randomize
