I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
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