You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
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