He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
I just got out of a $280 speeding ticket by acting like The Big Lebowski. Seriously Jeff Bridges is the man.
Randomize
