how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
I woke up under a house in Key West
Randomize
