You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
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Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
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he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
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