I love watching others lives come down to our level.
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
We left an ass print on the piano.
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
Randomize
