I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
Winning the lottery was the best thing that ever happened to my penis.
Greatest pickup line ever: "We are out celebrating winning the lottery."
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
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