I can't watch pbs sober anymore
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
Randomize
