i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
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