i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
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