To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
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