Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
Randomize
