Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
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