I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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