She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
Randomize