College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
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