Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
Listen. The next time my first idea in the morning is "hometown buffet and a water bottle full of captain morgan", please make me go back to sleep.
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
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