If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
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